Where do I start?
Is it any wonder that I get *nothing* done around the house? I start in one place and end up clicking through blog upon link upon blog. Somehow I ended up reading several blogs on adoption this morning. And I almost feel like I’m the newbie. What do all of those words mean? Is my vocab wrong?
There are “first moms” and “second moms”… what happened to birth and adoptive? Or biological?? Are those offensive now?
In the classes I teach, we call our foster and adoptive families “resource families”. I don’t know that it properly explains anything though.
Recently, I got a letter from the bio-grandma of our boys. I was shocked. It was a good surprise though. I never expected to hear anything from that biological family. We’ve left the door wide open and hope that we can help our boys fill in the blanks when they’re older…
And I am thankful that she wrote. The letter and its contents will be for them in the future, when they are ready (or, when we think they are ready). I am so glad that she has chosen to stay in their lives, at least in some small way.
I have amazing children. And it’s not all Brian and I parenting that has made them so. They didn’t come from a void (this is one of my famous quotes…). They came from parents and families and cultures that are different from ours.
And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.
I want them to grow and love themselves. I want them to know both who they are and where they came from. And I don’t really know any way to do this other than having an open adoption. I’ll never be able to answer their questions about their biological families. No matter what I do or how hard I try, they will likely have doubts and fears that I won’t be able to fill, only their biological families will be able to fill those voids.
At the same time, I can’t force the relationship either.
We can only open the door, we can’t pull anyone through.
This letter from bio-grandma was the first contact that we’ve had from any bio-family in years.
Sigh.
I don’t know that I’ve really been able to state my thoughts. But, maybe I’ve been able to provide a little food for thought?
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